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However, the same source noted that, since Abuja is a “melting pot,” issues such as ethnicity and religion do not have a big impact on a woman’s ability to live on her own there ibid. The member of FIDA explained that Abuja has a high level of institutional corruption and its economy is “largely driven by government patronage;” there is limited access to well-paid jobs and housing, as these are in the hands of only a few people Member 20 June The same source further stated that for a single woman to access housing and employment in Abuja, she must go through “multiple barriers,” such as being solicited for sexual favours by skilled and unskilled “‘middle-men"” ibid.
She also noted that working-class women who live alone may be preyed upon by middle-aged men who view them as “emotionally and sexually needy” ibid. The member of FIDA stated that “[w]omen of middle class earnings face serious bias from live-in landlords” in Abuja, who view them as “likely to over-populate their rented homes by bringing in female squatters or entertaining male visitors for perceived clandestine reasons” Member 20 June
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Anyone who’s been doing the online dating thing for a while knows that there’s hookup culture and then there’s long-term relationship dating culture. Most online dating sites have a mix of both, and after living with online dating as an increasingly ubiquitous option for the past 20 years, the general public mostly sees dating sites as a super normal means to find casual dates or a hookup. But what if you’re looking for a serious relationship or even something long-term?
What if you just don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day ever again? What if you’re over casual dating and just want someone consistent to come home to? What if you have no idea where to start? Keep reading. The long-term potential of online dating is still met with a cloud of doubt. However, new evidence is proving that relationships that started online might have a stronger foundation than those that started offline. A study cited in the MIT Technology Review found that people who meet online are more likely to be compatible and have a higher chance of a healthy marriage if they decide to get hitched.
If marriage is your goal, you’ll be glad to know that another recent study found that heterosexual couples who met online were quicker to tie the knot than couples who met offline. Either way, online dating seems to be a good recipe for a satisfying, long-term relationship whether it involves marriage or not.
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One quintessentially Nigerian example is revealing. When young women in southeastern Nigeria speak of the way that men deceive them in sexual relationships.
The transition from premarital sexual relationships and courtship to marriage and parenthood in southeastern Nigeria involves particularly dramatic adjustments for young women who have absorbed changing ideas about sexuality, marriage, and gender equality, and who have had active premarital sexual lives. In the eyes of society, these women must transform from being promiscuous girls to good wives.
Historically, the rise of romantic love as a marital ideal has sometimes been perceived to be associated with greater gender equality, as changes in expectations for and practices in marriage are tied to the erosion of a highly sex-segregated division of labor. In many settings, transformations in the dynamics of marital intimacy have been interpreted as offering women the possibility of utilizing emotional leverage with their husbands to negotiate more equitable domestic arrangements Collier , Hirsch , Rebhun But in Nigeria changes in marriage and in the public and private dimensions of gender asymmetry have not occurred uniformly or beyond the continuing influence of powerful kinship systems and structures of inequality.
Further, once a couple is married, kin relationships frequently impinge on contemporary conjugal life, perhaps most overtly with regard to fertility and parenting. A gendered division of labor continues to characterize many spheres of Nigerian social life, even as urbanization, formal education, and broader trends toward individualism produce changes that push against entrenched gendered social organization. In marriage, women are constrained in many ways they did not experience when they were single, even as they have new powers, having achieved a status that is highly valued.
These changes, and the ways women adjust to them, highlight the complex and multivalent dimensions of gender dynamics in the context of contemporary Nigerian courtship and marriage. The transition to marriage has always been characterized by noteworthy adjustments. Nearly every society marks the onset of marriage with rituals that signify and facilitate these transformations.